Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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