What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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