I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize