And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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