Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
