Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
