She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize