he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize