That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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