Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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