i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he thought i was a dude.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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