I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
