Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
