ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
