How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
