he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
