He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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