All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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