pedialite and red bull = repair kit
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
