Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
