I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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