Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
farters have to be the big spoon...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
NoShamevember. You game?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
