Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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