I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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