I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
