dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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