I feel great
I just peed on a car
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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