So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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