apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
