I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
