Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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