Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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