I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
