Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
