even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
