just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
