How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
