Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
