I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
two words...techno handjob
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
