How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
