I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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