Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
