I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
