well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
