how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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