you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
