Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
