we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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