24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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