it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize