My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
