What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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