I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize