Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
