I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
