I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
