we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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