i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
