well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
