their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
