who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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