I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
