The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
