Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
