sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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