girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
