I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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