I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
