next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
